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残念だったねぇ?

こちらも大方の予想を裏切って、連日更新してみます(o´ヮ`)
ぇ?誰も見ていない??

  
いつものことじゃないですか(ノω;)はい、死にます。
  
  
先日のシャイル胴奮闘日記でも、つらつらと~。
所持金20万からスタートしたわけですが…まず、何をしてお金を稼ぐのか…
さっぱりわかりません!(ぇー

そんなこんなでまず、過去の金策手段で最も多用していた「絹糸」集めを開始しました。
これはご存知のとおり、クロウラーの落とす絹糸を集めて競売に売り飛ばすというものですが…
最近の物価高騰も伴い、1ダースがなんと10万近くまで上がっているのです!
気軽に出来ますし、悪くないかな~ と軽い感じでクロウラーを駆り始めたのですが…
  
 
  
なかなかにドロップしない(´・ω・`)

  
  
4時間もかけてようやく1ダースという有様、コレではダメダメだ…
何か新しい金策を考えねば!!

続かない。

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Hello!

C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.

Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.

Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.

What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.

Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.

Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

Hello!

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.

Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.

Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.

Premature optimization is the root of all evil.

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.

No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

DQfisj

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

sQzniC

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.

DPNHvD

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

Aloha!

Hello!

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.

I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.

I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

pLVpdDsM

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.

Write a wise word and your name will live forever.

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.

They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.

Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.

Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Premature optimization is the root of all evil.

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

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Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.

Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.

dSwFfM http://jroalq.com/

Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'

Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.

The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.

The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language

The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

After every 'victory' you have more enemies.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.

Your website is very the most informative. I loved your website a lot. Thank you.

Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

Hello!

Hello!

Hello!

The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

Aloha!

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

I am not young enough to know everything.

I am not young enough to know everything.

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

ailaOCS

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.

> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...

> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.

Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.

Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.

Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.

The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.

Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.

Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

Barabsi's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

A hen is only an eggs way of making another egg.

A hen is only an eggs way of making another egg.

The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.

If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.

If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.

The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.